La France, je n'ai pas oublié vous, je vous aime toujours, vous étais ma première passion vraie, nous aurai toujours Paris.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
i should be asleep right now...
I'd like to think that people come into my life for a reason, but as I get older and come in contact with more people, I am starting to think otherwise. I've become a very private person as of late and very selective of who I become friends with. I don't like meeting people, taking the time to get to know them and then they just move on, disappear, or worse they somehow manage to use me before they move on.
I'm too nostalgic, too sensitive, too caring, too nice, too kind, too easy, too trusting, too much of a believer in love, truth and honesty... or perhaps I just chose to let the wrong ones in.
I sometimes think that everything we know is wrong, it's all false, so why bother?
The thing is though; you have to ask yourself why bother. I bother because I never want to stop learning, I want to always meet new people, see new places, learn new customs, eat new food, hear new languages, accents, music. That is why I bother.
But there's apparently something about me that people don't like, I want to figure out what it is. I'll go into it completely ignorant instead of with the usual preconcieved ideas. I honestly don't know what it is yet.
I'm too nostalgic, too sensitive, too caring, too nice, too kind, too easy, too trusting, too much of a believer in love, truth and honesty... or perhaps I just chose to let the wrong ones in.
I sometimes think that everything we know is wrong, it's all false, so why bother?
The thing is though; you have to ask yourself why bother. I bother because I never want to stop learning, I want to always meet new people, see new places, learn new customs, eat new food, hear new languages, accents, music. That is why I bother.
But there's apparently something about me that people don't like, I want to figure out what it is. I'll go into it completely ignorant instead of with the usual preconcieved ideas. I honestly don't know what it is yet.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
my official theme music from 2009...
a year of highest peaks and deepest darkest valleys, but i guess that's what keeps it interesting right?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
quick update and discoveries...
The holiday season officially started today, I went to SUBWAY sandwiches for lunch and while standing in line I was audibly assaulted by Feliz Navidad, I was going to post the vid here from youtube but I figured I'd spare everyone from that torment, plus, I didn't want to ruin the integrity of my blog with that abomination of all things Christmassy.
I have been listening to Radiohead a lot lately, they're currently one of my favorite bands, some really good stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I get into music AFTER everyone else does, that way I can just listen to it and enjoy it for and by myself instead of listening to it and trying to figure out why everyone else likes it. I've also been listening to "intelligent" drum and base. If you listen to the LTJ Bukem track below you'll know why.
I have been thinking about my next trip to Europe and have already started doing the groundwork to get there. I just need to decide where to go. Here's my list of places- UKRAINE, Poland, Moldova, Slovenia, Russia and finally Romania. Where would you go? Moscow was at the top of my list but it's hard/expensive to get there.
Not much else going on right now... lots of time to myself. I discovered another film I want to see called STALKER. You know what's AMAZING about life? Is that there is all this great stuff out there; movies, music, books, stuff that NOBODY tells you about, stuff that you can only discover by yourself, stuff you've never heard of before, but it is out there, waiting to be discovered by people that would rather seek out the amazing, rather than be spoon fed Hollywood's crap. ENJOY!
I have been listening to Radiohead a lot lately, they're currently one of my favorite bands, some really good stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I get into music AFTER everyone else does, that way I can just listen to it and enjoy it for and by myself instead of listening to it and trying to figure out why everyone else likes it. I've also been listening to "intelligent" drum and base. If you listen to the LTJ Bukem track below you'll know why.
I have been thinking about my next trip to Europe and have already started doing the groundwork to get there. I just need to decide where to go. Here's my list of places- UKRAINE, Poland, Moldova, Slovenia, Russia and finally Romania. Where would you go? Moscow was at the top of my list but it's hard/expensive to get there.
Not much else going on right now... lots of time to myself. I discovered another film I want to see called STALKER. You know what's AMAZING about life? Is that there is all this great stuff out there; movies, music, books, stuff that NOBODY tells you about, stuff that you can only discover by yourself, stuff you've never heard of before, but it is out there, waiting to be discovered by people that would rather seek out the amazing, rather than be spoon fed Hollywood's crap. ENJOY!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
the joy of math...
X+Y=Z
If X equals Russian, and Y equals brunette, we can safely assume that Z equals HOTNESS!
Hotness is an English word meaning, according to Websters Dictionary, "...a total babe, worthy of admiration, a 10 on the 1 through 10 scale, ta-DOW!..." Funnily enough, if you go to babelfish and translate hotness into Russian, the translation given is OLGA KURYLENKO!
booyah!
If X equals Russian, and Y equals brunette, we can safely assume that Z equals HOTNESS!
Hotness is an English word meaning, according to Websters Dictionary, "...a total babe, worthy of admiration, a 10 on the 1 through 10 scale, ta-DOW!..." Funnily enough, if you go to babelfish and translate hotness into Russian, the translation given is OLGA KURYLENKO!
booyah!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Omelets don't "just happen"...
Do you think it's possible that as a consumer based society we are conditioned to ALWAYS want more stuff? It doesn't matter if it's your house, car, t.v., clothes, jewelry, bank balance etc., no matter what we have we always want more. Is that right? There will always be a bigger t.v., a bigger home, a newer car, a bigger diamond to get. Is that what keeps life interesting? The drive to get more? Do we ever stop... and say "ok... NOW I'm happy, NOW I have enough, this is exactly what I want"? I don't know... I'm asking.
How does American society measure your level of success? Is it your level of wealth? Your education? Social status?
I've always been a believer of buying the best of what you can afford, for each person it's different, that's where personal taste comes in. There's so much more to it though; intellect, finances etc. What is it that makes us want what we want?
I'll see a building here in SF, usually it's some old red brick commercial building two stories tall and I'll think; "that would be awesome to own that building, i'd turn the upstairs into a loft, live in it and do something with the first floor, I'd love to live in a loft" then, as quick as that idea pops into my head it's replaced by "but I'll never do it, there's NO way I could afford that". I've already decided that it's impossible.
One of my biggest fears is the fear of failure. It's a fear that cripples you, destroys your motivation and stops you before you start. So much so that over time you develop a why even bother mindset. I wonder how others think, the Wright Brothers, Henry Ford okay even Barack Obama. In fact let's pick Obama, how many times do you think people said to him "You'll never be President, you're black, it'll never happen, don't even bother"?
I really REALLY admire people that make personal sacrifices for long term personal benefit. They have vision, patience and an unshakable belief in themselves. There are people that know they will succeed and they plan, taking the necessary steps to reach the goal they chose for themselves. The best can't be distracted from what they know they need to do. Their ability to remain focused and true to themselves really blows me away. Seriously, I don't know what word to use to describe how much I admire people like that. If you know it let me know.
I don't believe things "just happen", bridges don't just happen, babies don't just happen, accidents don't just happen. Everything happens for a reason and things are MADE to happen. Here is an example in its simplest form---
Let's say you want an omelet. Is wanting it enough to make an omelet happen? No. So you go to the cupboard, get out the frying pan and set it on the cooker, will an omelet happen now? I mean you really want it and you've even gone so far as to put the pan on the cooker. Well, it's more likely to happen now because you do need a frying pan to make an omelet but you also need eggs, heat, a whisk, maybe a little milk, salt etc. etc. You get the idea right? It takes MANY things to make something happen, even something as simple as an omelet, plus, here's the thing, if one thing is missing from the ingredients you won't have a good omelet. There's the want (or need), recipe, ingredients, a desired outcome... all that just to make some breakfast. LIFE is the same way. Remember though, you can have all the ingredients, recipes, utensils, needs and wants, even the motivation!, but, if you're afraid your omelet is going to come out crappy and you don't crack an egg, you will never succeed, the attempt to try is the cornerstone of success. At least try.
I know what I want and where I want to go, which is good as most people don't, I need to collect the tools I need. I need to focus and figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be. I need to sacrifice some comforts and I need to know I can and will succeed. I need to remind myself everyday what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I need to try.
There's more to this but I need a break...
How does American society measure your level of success? Is it your level of wealth? Your education? Social status?
I've always been a believer of buying the best of what you can afford, for each person it's different, that's where personal taste comes in. There's so much more to it though; intellect, finances etc. What is it that makes us want what we want?
I'll see a building here in SF, usually it's some old red brick commercial building two stories tall and I'll think; "that would be awesome to own that building, i'd turn the upstairs into a loft, live in it and do something with the first floor, I'd love to live in a loft" then, as quick as that idea pops into my head it's replaced by "but I'll never do it, there's NO way I could afford that". I've already decided that it's impossible.
One of my biggest fears is the fear of failure. It's a fear that cripples you, destroys your motivation and stops you before you start. So much so that over time you develop a why even bother mindset. I wonder how others think, the Wright Brothers, Henry Ford okay even Barack Obama. In fact let's pick Obama, how many times do you think people said to him "You'll never be President, you're black, it'll never happen, don't even bother"?
I really REALLY admire people that make personal sacrifices for long term personal benefit. They have vision, patience and an unshakable belief in themselves. There are people that know they will succeed and they plan, taking the necessary steps to reach the goal they chose for themselves. The best can't be distracted from what they know they need to do. Their ability to remain focused and true to themselves really blows me away. Seriously, I don't know what word to use to describe how much I admire people like that. If you know it let me know.
I don't believe things "just happen", bridges don't just happen, babies don't just happen, accidents don't just happen. Everything happens for a reason and things are MADE to happen. Here is an example in its simplest form---
Let's say you want an omelet. Is wanting it enough to make an omelet happen? No. So you go to the cupboard, get out the frying pan and set it on the cooker, will an omelet happen now? I mean you really want it and you've even gone so far as to put the pan on the cooker. Well, it's more likely to happen now because you do need a frying pan to make an omelet but you also need eggs, heat, a whisk, maybe a little milk, salt etc. etc. You get the idea right? It takes MANY things to make something happen, even something as simple as an omelet, plus, here's the thing, if one thing is missing from the ingredients you won't have a good omelet. There's the want (or need), recipe, ingredients, a desired outcome... all that just to make some breakfast. LIFE is the same way. Remember though, you can have all the ingredients, recipes, utensils, needs and wants, even the motivation!, but, if you're afraid your omelet is going to come out crappy and you don't crack an egg, you will never succeed, the attempt to try is the cornerstone of success. At least try.
I know what I want and where I want to go, which is good as most people don't, I need to collect the tools I need. I need to focus and figure out how to get from where I am to where I want to be. I need to sacrifice some comforts and I need to know I can and will succeed. I need to remind myself everyday what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I need to try.
There's more to this but I need a break...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
i don't even know anymore.
The last 7 days have been tough for me, I've tried keeping a smile on my face but it hasn't been easy. Sometimes it takes more than popping a smile on my face to make me feel good. I think being depressed is starting to not only affect my own life but the few friends I have left. I can't imagine I'm that fun to hang out with right now, I have way too much stuff on my mind and I'm distracted. I used to think I had all the answers and I used to be ready at a moments notice to give good upbeat advice to friends in need, but, I've lost it. When I think to myself or ask myself; "Why would he/she say/do that? I have know idea why, it could be 1 of a 1,000,000 reasons why, you could even ask the person why he/she said/did that and they could tell you... but are they telling you the truth? People are complex, relationships are fragile, it's hard to figure out. There is no figuring it out.
When you just want to be happy and all it takes is life's simple pleasures to make you happy you have to wonder why it's so fucking hard.
I just want to be loved and appreciated. It's that simple.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
My Top Ten List...
Getting an amazing nights sleep last night.
Meeting new people.
Driving to Santa Cruz for lunch.
Watching the Sunset.
Taking a nap in my car after the sunset.
Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffins.
Getting my car smogged, registered and insured.
Getting rid of stuff I've held on to for too long.
Awesome conversation with Dave.
Super chomp worthy burrito from Gordos'
Meeting new people.
Driving to Santa Cruz for lunch.
Watching the Sunset.
Taking a nap in my car after the sunset.
Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffins.
Getting my car smogged, registered and insured.
Getting rid of stuff I've held on to for too long.
Awesome conversation with Dave.
Super chomp worthy burrito from Gordos'
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday.
This week went by so fast! Work has been filled with days of spinning wheels and feeling like I didn't accomplish much. It's cold in the morning and hard to get out of bed, staying up somewhat late doesn't help either. I drove straight to the beach after work and watched the sunset, it went down fast and disappeared at 5:06p.m. I then had a quick 20 minute snooze in the car to escape my thoughts for a bit. It felt good, I love sleep. Normally I think of sleep as a way of recharging my batteries; eat, work, sleep right? Lately however it's been an escape of sweet tranquil bliss, it reminds me that I'm happy with who I am. I don't need to change.
Yesterday went as per the to-do list except for the walking to work bit, bed was too warm and cozy.
Yesterday went as per the to-do list except for the walking to work bit, bed was too warm and cozy.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
do list for 11.12.09
walk to work.
get pic discs from costco.
get a hair cut.
play ping pong with dave.
get pic discs from costco.
get a hair cut.
play ping pong with dave.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
i'll never be jaded...
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.
We have no say over the hand dealt us in life, but we do have a lot of control over how this hand is played. We are responsible for bringing out the meaning of our own lives in each moment that we live. Remember each moment happens only once and can never be retrieved again.
We have no say over the hand dealt us in life, but we do have a lot of control over how this hand is played. We are responsible for bringing out the meaning of our own lives in each moment that we live. Remember each moment happens only once and can never be retrieved again.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
quick questions...
Job?
Senior Vespa Technician
Style icons
Steve McQueen
Describe your personal style
boring... but always freshly laundered.
I build my daily look around
What I'm doing that day.
Personal Style quirk?
Never ever wear white socks.
Favorite designers?
Kenneth Cole
The first thing I look at in another Sartorialist's outfit ...
Do the clothes fit.
Favorite stores?
Some great indie shops on Hayes.
Most stylish city?
Women from RIGA have great style.
Favorite vacation spot?
Edinburgh, I'll never get tired of going there.
Favorite cocktail?
Ketel One and Diet Coke.
Favorite place to search for inspiration?
Japanese magazines, www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com
I spend my weekends…
outdoors, usually at the beach.
Senior Vespa Technician
Style icons
Steve McQueen
Describe your personal style
boring... but always freshly laundered.
I build my daily look around
What I'm doing that day.
Personal Style quirk?
Never ever wear white socks.
Favorite designers?
Kenneth Cole
The first thing I look at in another Sartorialist's outfit ...
Do the clothes fit.
Favorite stores?
Some great indie shops on Hayes.
Most stylish city?
Women from RIGA have great style.
Favorite vacation spot?
Edinburgh, I'll never get tired of going there.
Favorite cocktail?
Ketel One and Diet Coke.
Favorite place to search for inspiration?
Japanese magazines, www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com
I spend my weekends…
outdoors, usually at the beach.
your own self interest...
There is nothing more fragile than the relationships between humans. People are a fickle bunch, you can go from being best friends to enemies in an instant. It's funny how a lie can get the truth out of someone, you'd think that truth breeds truth, it does, but not always.
Life is good especially if you're lucky enough to learn something new, a lesson, everyday. Today I learned the importance of keeping details, specifics, private. Even from so called "friends", especially from "friends".
Life is good especially if you're lucky enough to learn something new, a lesson, everyday. Today I learned the importance of keeping details, specifics, private. Even from so called "friends", especially from "friends".
Friday, November 6, 2009
well shut my mouth!
Ok, so I'm heading down to Fresno... Full report when I get back... until then enjoy this tune...
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