I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a man. What does it take? So I googled it. I found some forums where men and women gave some good, and bad, advice along with lists of words describing a mans attributes; strength, integrity, generosity, kindness, honesty, compassion, selflessness, self reliance, personal accountability, acceptance of responsibility towards your future and that of your family. The one statement I found that struck a chord with me was; "doing the right thing even when it's the hardest option" Which I think is an amazingly powerful statement.
I think being a man is when you realise that there are things more important than yourself. The realisation that you are not as important as you thought you were. Sometimes I wonder if the only way to be a man is to be a good parent?
Responsibilities are great motivators. As a single guy, what responsibilites motivate me? I need shelter, food, clothing and to pay my debts. That's it. There's no more to it. Now, if all my needs are met... what is my motivation?? What pushes me out of bed in the morning once all my needs are met?
During my nightly walk to the beach tonight I realised that I was lucky to have had an amazing role model for what man is and should be; my Dad.
My Dad was born in Edinburgh Scotland in 1940, as a young man he worked for the Royal Mail as a motorcycle courier, he joined the Merchant Marines based out of H.M.S. Claverhouse in Leith. He was a part of the crew on a minesweeper, dragging nets across the sea floor in the North Sea. I have pictures of him from his travels to ports across Europe. During this time; late '50s/early '60s he met my Mum at the Palais Dance Hall. He married her and at the age of 22 he became a parent. At 29 he had his first son, me, and at 36 he had his third child. At 43, he decided to uproot our family from Edinburgh to Fresno California.
He worked hard at a job he enjoyed, loved my Mum, had a family, raised us right and would have done anything for us. He was the most unselfish Man I have ever known. Could this be the blueprint to what it means to be a man?
I'm getting a late start compared to my Dad, at this point, if I become HALF the man he was I'll be happy, but I'll need to start now. Emotionally, I've never been more ready to start in my life.
Somethings you can't learn just from reading about it, being a man is one of those things, you have to be taught from example, and you have to be willing to learn.
