a few of my old myspace blogs...

Sometimes I think I'm a dinosaur...
Sometimes I wonder if the fantasy is better than the reality. Sometimes, the exquisite bliss of living in a dream surpasses the need to know. It has been said that; It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.

I am a firm believer of the perception is reality mindset, especially when it comes to how I perceive myself, but i have conflicted feelings when it comes to matters of love. Sometimes I find myself attracted to, and longing for, people that I perceive as unobtainable, whether they are or not doesn't matter as my perception dictates my reality; if i see them as unobtainable then they are unobtainable.

I think about it a lot.

I think unrequited love is a beautiful thing, but I'm sure reciprocated love could be even better.

Sometimes I think I'm a dinosaur.


quotes
"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." Pearl S. Buck

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Howard Thurman

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel. Unknown

The problem with writing a deep, meaningful blog on myspace is when...
you spend over two hours writing, no make that "composing" a new blog and when you go to post it the blog has "timed out" on you? Erasing everything you've written. One more example of why I hate technology. A journal, aka a pad and a pen never times out on you. Here is my revised list of stuff that bugs me.

1. Cell Phones and Phones in general, I hate them, I know hate is a strong word but in this case it's not strong enough.

2. Modern Technology, we have a new "fax" machine at work, to send a fax you have to first scan the document, send it to your computer and then e-fax it. In ye olden tymes you could type in the phone number and hit send.

3. People that say "going green" or "reduce my carbon footprint" usually I throw my hand in their face and say "whateverrrrrr!!!" that usually shuts them up pretty fast.

4. People that drive a Toyota Prius, have you seen how these people drive? In parking lots they go 1 mph so they can run on stealth mode, on the freeway they go 120 mph. Prius owners... are you really "above the law"?

5. People that are 420 friendly. I'm sorry, I'm too tired to go into detail on this one.

6. "Burners" aka Burning Man Attendees, if you have EVER said "Burning Man" and "changed my life" in the same sentence you need help. Try doing volunteer work, that will change your life and actually make a difference.

7. Politicians, here's the Readers Digest version, you have MONEY in your pocket, politicians want to get it out of your pocket, the end.

8. Taxes, you make money? Income Tax! You spend money? Sales Tax! You save money? Interest? Taxable Income! I think we should abolish Income Tax.

fashion guycons...

You'd never guess by looking at me but I do have an eye for, and, an appreciation of, all things stylish. I'm working on becoming more stylish myself as I'm sick of being a "one pair of shoes, jeans and a t-shirt" kind of guy. I hope to dovetail my style makeover with my new health and fitness regimen... which starts on Monday... I mean it this time! I have a few guy style icons I admire, I call them "Guycons" These guycons are people I consider to be proper gents, stylish and worthy of emulation or at least my respect. They've sported looks which no doubt will influence my clothing purchases in the near future. (regular readers will notice I've already forgotten about my financial concerns as discussed just yesterday).
Steve McQueen is, without a doubt, the King of Cool. He liked cars, motorbikes, did his own stunts (most of them), made some great films and was one sharp dressed dude. McQueen was also fond of PERSOL sunglasses, BARACUTA jackets and desert boots. If you haven't seen BULLITT filmed in SF, see clip, the GREAT ESCAPE or the original THOMAS CROWNE AFFAIR you need to get on netflix and cue 'em up.
Daniel Craig is officially my favorite Bond, I know there are probably Sean Connery fans out there, maybe even a Pierce Brosnan fan, that would disagree but Craig has brought some much needed life to the James Bond genre and... he's the same age as me. I KNOW!!! I don't know whether to thank him for inspiring me or hate him for making me look bad?!

money and dating...

Another unplanned day off tomorrow, not enough work, people are not showing up for their appointments. I need a plan, for either making more money or to save more of the money I make. Sometimes I think about advertising on craigslist for a room-mate, I'm sure there are plenty of other people in a situation similar to mine, two people living in a studio would make things overly cozy I reckon. The majority of my money goes to rent, then eating out on a near daily basis, lunch in SF is typically $8, dinner is usually close to $20 when you add sodas and a tip. As you can imagine, it adds up fast.

It's not easy to save money though, being a single guy, I want to go out, be social, go on dates, all of which requires spending copious amounts of cash. I know what I need to do, scale back, I'm just not ready/don't want to yet. I probably should mention that I signed up for "just one more month" of yahoo personals. I wasn't going to, the endless hours searching through profiles soaked up a lot of time but, what else did I have to do? Update myspace? Facebook? Playstation? (i need a life, i just re-read this post) This time around though I'm trying something different, I'm going to see if anyone initiates contact with me. So far one chick has and that was today. By the way, I refer to the gentler sex as; women, chicks, girls and occasionally ladies. Generally, chicks and girls are interchangeable terms for women OVER the age of 18. I pretty much reserve the use of "ladies" and "lady" for married women... or senior citizens... or royalty... or someone I'm not interested in dating. However, it doesn't apply to women in the 18-24 year old age group, I guess they would be chicks also but, again, not what I would consider as belonging to my dating pool. I know this is confusing for some so here are some pics;

In this pic we have 3 women "CHICKS and GIRLS" that I would consider dating.













This is a "LADY". She is married, a senior citizen and royalty, a trifecta of my dating deal breakers, she is not someone I'd be interested in.

Hope that helps.

my weekend...

Saturday night; i went out to Annie's social hall on Saturday night with my buddy Dave, i knew it was joy division/cure night but what i didn't realise there would be tribute bands! I've been craving some live music for ages! i backed out of several gigs lately; "stereolab", "the bird and the bee" and "this charming band" so i was really ready to get my fix. i call them tribute bands and not cover bands because the lead singers "became" Ian Curtis and Robert smith, the Robert smith dude was pre-bloated Robert smith (in case you need me to paint a mental picture for you), it was really really good and, i got there in time to hear my fave JD tune "transmission", i think that's what it's called. the other entertainment for the evening was co-worker/associate Jeff, when sober he is funny as hell, but faded he's a whole different person, in between songs, after the applause had died down, he insisted on voicing his opinions on the band; "these guys suck!", "the singer has no energy!" etc. to avoid being guilty by association i vacated to the bar. it turned out to be an amazing night.

Sunday night my friend came over, I made dinner and we watched the Monica Vitti film, it was pretty good, there was a few scenes which i found to be pointless or at the very least longer than they needed to be, pretty much any scene shot in the stock market building was unnecessary and added nothing to the film, but, i did like the way the rest of it played out, Italy in the early 60s is a trip, architecturally speaking. The style back then was amazing, men in suits and Vitti looking drop dead gorgeous as always. my friend didn't care for the film much, which is now the second film I've picked out that she didn't like, the first one being Godard's "Le chinoise", which actually was a complete turd of a film.

Monday... today i met up with Dave for brunch, Dave, by the way, is my best friend here in the City, so you'll be hearing about him quite a bit as we run around a lot. anyway, we had a nutritious and delicious brunch at IHOP on Lombard street, we had a good time talking about our usual topics of conversation, women being one recurring topic. our waitress was this unconventionally beautiful Russian chick; "Natalya". i kinda think eastern European (Hungarian, Czech, Ukrainian, Polish, Russian etc.) women are gorgeous, especially in a no nonsense, take no shit, keep me in line, let's roll our sleeves up and get it done, kinda way. we tried to guess what her hobbies and interests were, Dave came up with "disassembling and reassembling world war one rifles" and i came up with "separating wheat from chaff" we were pissing ourselves laughing. there were others but... you had to be there.

new camera...

This is a view of my living room, the doorway leads into the diningroom and then into the kitchen, the bookshelf on the left was the ultimate sidewalk find. On the bookshelf is one of my most favorite things, a wood block clock, I'll add a pic of it at a later time, (no pun intended).



This time the pic is taken from the doorway, the large artwork was done by an amazing Fresno artist named Aurora. She is on myspace and does commissioned work, she is working on another piece for me.



I took this pic this morning on the drive to work, this is northbound on the Golden Gate Bridge.



I work at a Vespa scooter dealership as a mechanic, we also sell exotic cars, I love my job!



The tunnel heading back towards San Francisco.


This is the toolboth to enter SF from the Golden Gate Bridge. If you're from the North Bay or East Bay there's a $6 or $5 cover charge for coming in to enjoy our beautiful city.








this is moi.

how was your life today?

1. Slightly under the weather for the first few hours at work, Coronas with Lemon will do that to you.
2. Listened to my AIR playlist all evening.
3. Had many emails to write but not feeling creative, see number 1.
4. Found some pictures of Francoise Hardy I hadn't seen before, saved them and posted them up on myspace.
5. Made plans for Sunday and Monday.
6. Zoned out on fashion blogs. See blog list to the right.
7. Stayed up far too late again, craving some structure.

How is your life today?

frequent your local library, it's awesome!

My library rocks! I flew over there (Ortega Ave. Branch) this morning on my Vespa and on one small spinner rack I found so much good stuff! I'm so stoked! I picked up "The Red Balloon" aka "Le Ballon Rouge" by Albert Lamorisse, I saw a clip of this movie set to some tunes by a band called "Explosions in the Sky", actually I'll attach it to this post so you can see it. I cannot watch it without bawling my eyes out, sometimes things are just so beautiful I can't help it.

Another film I picked up was Michelangelo Antonioni's "L'Eclisse", all I know about this film is it's about the difficulties of finding connections in an increasingly mechanized world, and Monica Vitti is the star and I think she is h-o-t. Also picked up today was "La Vie En Rose" a movie about the life of Edith Piaf and finally "The Man who loved Women" by Truffaut who happens to be one of my favorite directors. 4 movies, 7 days, ZERO dollars. That's how to have fun in a recession.