a sense of adventure...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

and then i stumble onto this...

"to dream of the person you wish to be is to waste the person you are"

maybe i just need some chocolate...

when you sit at a job for 8 hours, with nothing to do but wait for clients to walk in, you can literaly feel the energy being leeched out of you, so much so that when you come home you have absolutely no drive to do anything. i have sat on my ass since 9am and it's now 9pm. i don't know how much more i can take.

i was told they hired a new fulltime salesperson for the location i am working at which means one of three things is about to happen; 1. i'm about to be laid off. 2. i'm going back fulltime to the SF location. 3. i will work three days in SF and two days in marin. i just want my brain to be challenged and i want to do something i love and i'm sick of waiting for something to "happen". i'm fed up.

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...

DO NOT under any circumstances get drunk on absolut mandarin vodka and soda. it will make you forget stuff, throw up on yourself and you will come out of your alcohol induced fog driving in a town over an hour from where you live wondering where the hell you are (cupertino) and how the hell you got there (driving drunk). you will also be covered in bruises. don't ask me how i know this.

15 minutes of blog

I have no idea what to write about, I just know I want to be in bed in 15 minutes, early to bed, early to rise blah blah... I sold a scooter at work finally, sales have been slow. I've been selling one a month, thank goodness I get a wage not a commission. Looking forward to seeing the BRUNO movie whenever it comes out, also, the new Tarantino WWII flick looks awesome. I recently saw Angels & Demons and it SUCKED! Don't go see it, it has nothing to do with the illuminati. BORING! You'd be better off looking illuminati up on wikipedia. I'm still trying to figure out what my signature drink is going to be since I can no longer drink beer or any fermented drinks, distilled spirits are ok though. I am a big fan of the mojito but, not all bars serve it and the ones that do the bartenders are typically jerks about having to go through all the effort. My bartender friend says mojitos are "labor intensive" WHAT!??! umm ok...

So, I'm planning on trying out a Stoli Orange with Soda. I'll let you know.

Been writing a lot in my journal, I've been trying to figure stuff out; what it takes to be a man, what every man needs, what do women want etc. etc. It's really enjoyable giving the brain a workout.

European adventure is still on track, tickets haven't been bought yet, hopefully in the next week. I'll be converting money soon. I will be renting an apartment in Paris, it's cheaper than a hotel and, for 2 nights and 3 days I can pretend I live there.

Made a list of what I need to do with my life... HEALTH, FINANCES & FUTURE, I then bullet-pointed what I need to do to achieve each "goal". Maybe I can share the list with you at a later time?

Came up with another tom-ism; You have to know the destination BEFORE you start your journey. You don't leave the house to go for a walk hoping you end up somewhere you want to be, you know before you even leave the house where you want to go and, you take steps to get there. Dammit 15 mminutes are up. Time for bed.

Being a Man

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a man. What does it take? So I googled it. I found some forums where men and women gave some good, and bad, advice along with lists of words describing a mans attributes; strength, integrity, generosity, kindness, honesty, compassion, selflessness, self reliance, personal accountability, acceptance of responsibility towards your future and that of your family. The one statement I found that struck a chord with me was; "doing the right thing even when it's the hardest option" Which I think is an amazingly powerful statement.

I think being a man is when you realise that there are things more important than yourself. The realisation that you are not as important as you thought you were. Sometimes I wonder if the only way to be a man is to be a good parent?

Responsibilities are great motivators. As a single guy, what responsibilites motivate me? I need shelter, food, clothing and to pay my debts. That's it. There's no more to it. Now, if all my needs are met... what is my motivation?? What pushes me out of bed in the morning once all my needs are met?

During my nightly walk to the beach tonight I realised that I was lucky to have had an amazing role model for what man is and should be; my Dad.

My Dad was born in Edinburgh Scotland in 1940, as a young man he worked for the Royal Mail as a motorcycle courier, he joined the Merchant Marines based out of H.M.S. Claverhouse in Leith. He was a part of the crew on a minesweeper, dragging nets across the sea floor in the North Sea. I have pictures of him from his travels to ports across Europe. During this time; late '50s/early '60s he met my Mum at the Palais Dance Hall. He married her and at the age of 22 he became a parent. At 29 he had his first son, me, and at 36 he had his third child. At 43, he decided to uproot our family from Edinburgh to Fresno California.

He worked hard at a job he enjoyed, loved my Mum, had a family, raised us right and would have done anything for us. He was the most unselfish Man I have ever known. Could this be the blueprint to what it means to be a man?

I'm getting a late start compared to my Dad, at this point, if I become HALF the man he was I'll be happy, but I'll need to start now. Emotionally, I've never been more ready to start in my life.

Somethings you can't learn just from reading about it, being a man is one of those things, you have to be taught from example, and you have to be willing to learn.

low profile

my blog appears to have stalled lately. there's all kinds of goodness going on in my life right now and i'm going to keep my goodness to myself for a change. i've been busy busy lately, so much so that my apartment is in a state of disarray, nothing that couldn't be fixed in an hour, mostly just dishes needing washed.

i've been planning my trip to europe that i will be taking in september, made a MASSIVE payment on my credit card, as soon as the check clears i'm buying my tickets and putting in a time off request.

Scotland and Latvia i will be seeing you soon!

i've gotten addicted to a blog, you can check it out here---
http://riga.in/

i might fashion this blog to be more like the Riga blog.