somewhat conflicted...

so, when i started this blog, it was to keep my mind sharp, to keep me busy and to offer a constructive alternative to myspace, facebook and all that other nonsense. the bad thing though was my over zealous promotion of it, like a proud new parent showing off a new family member, i told EVERYBODY about it, even making the web address part of my email signature. now of course, knowing who may be looking at my blog, i find myself stifled, questioning every topic i try to write about before abandoning the entry.

it's possible, that writing about a date with an amazing person could have serious negative effects. ruining my chances of happiness with someone i feel a connection with. so, what do i do???

recently, best friend for life and "bro" dave approached me at work and asked;
D: what's with the blog T?
T: what do you mean?
D: last nights entry, it was kinda weak, are you running out of things to say?
T: was it really?! i don't know, i can't write about women all the time.
D: tom, you're on a journey, you're ready to be in a relationship and you are searching for your mate, there's nothing wrong with that, you have to write about it...

well, i don't have to write about it, but occasionally something will happen, and, yes, i will want to write about it. but will i?

sharing specific details of my dating life is something i won't do, it just doesn't sit well with me. so, i can only allow myself to talk about my observations, feelings, thoughts and ideas about love. even then, does that ruin it? if i spill my guts talking about life/love/relationships does that "leave nothing to the imagination?" the fact that if i share so much of myself then there'd be nothing to learn about me in real life? after re-reading this statement i now realise that it's rediculous for me to think that. i share only what i want to. people may make assumptions and decide they don't want to know me or that they've learned all there is to know about me. those with short attention spans or those that just have a casual interest in me will ditch out, those that have a genuine interest in getting to know me will hopefully be more intrigued to learn about me. everybody is different.

i believe looking at a woman that i'm interested in while the right music is playing can cause me to fall in love with her. is that possible? unlikely, but do i believe in it anyway? absolutely!

i believe a relationship lasts only as long as BOTH people want it to last, as soon as one person checks out it doesn't matter what the other person does or says or wants, there's no saving it.

i believe in love and romance. infact, of all the things that keep me going, that keep me interested in life, those are at the top of the list.