Friday, October 18, 2013

AMERICA... YOU FUCKED UP.



Dear America,
                      you fucked up. You used to not give a shit about what the rest of the world thought about you. You used to make cool shit. Really good cool shit, like~ cars that were the envy of the world, fridges that often lasted longer than the people that bought them, shoes that could be re-heeled and re-soled, pens that took ink refills and signed important documents with authority, watches that you'd have repaired not replaced, lighters made of metal that saved GI's from Nazi bullets, hats made by craftsman, shelving units made from real wood, toasters that had slots big enough for bagels even before people started toasting bagels, toys that taught about the importance of capitalism, radios made from space age plastics, clothes that fit right and somehow never went out of style, candy that would definitely rot your teeth but not give you cancer, and on and on and on and on.... You had it all and you blew it. It was right there, cradled in your calloused hands and you let it slip right through your fingers. You got greedy and tight fisted and that fucked it all up.

When did quality and pride in ones work get put in the backseat? When we were sold on CONVENIENCE, that's when. It's been a long, slow, gentle erosion on our senses that's shifted what's important. That and a focus on short term costs over long term savings. DISPOSABLE GOODS~ "Why fix that OLD thing when it's cheaper and easier to get a NEW one?"

So as I sit here in my living-room,ticky-tacking away on my chinese made LENOVO laptop, wearing my El Salvadorean FRUIT OF THE LOOM undies, my Mexican LEVI's, my Dominican Republic HANES t-shirt and check the time on my Philippines made TIMEX... I wonder what I can do differently...

I s'pose I could try being more optimistic.




Tuesday, October 8, 2013

You Know What's Wrong With The World?

I'm all over the place in this post... sorry.

SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA is what's wrong with the world. Regular, everyday people, want to be famous. Regular, everyday people, think the shit they have to say has some weight. There was a time when fame was something earned, for good deeds done, for saving someones life, for inventing something worthwhile. Thanks to the internets, any person with a smart phone and access to a wifi hotspot can create psuedo-fame for themselves and eventually these everyday people ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEIR OWN BULLSHIT! ?

So, don't believe the hype. There are millions of people out there using social media to "change the world". The thing is, all these people are doing is just stinking up the place with their bullshit.

Take music, there was a time, not so long ago, before MTV quit being about music, before the radio was placed in the pocket of the mass media machine, that, you would hear a tune on the radio and wonder "WOW!, that's a good tune, wonder who this is?"

Nowadays, you'll hear about the- hair, teeth, dimples, outrageousness, tits, ass... whatever, BEFORE YOU EVEN HEAR THE MUSIC and wonder "who the fuck is _____________? (insert shit like "ONE DIRECTION") So, you look them up, see what they look like, know what you're in for and give them a listen on youtube, all in an effort to see what the hype is all about. Then a quick glance at their wiki page to discover what you knew all along- "oh...right... they're a prefabricated "band", none of them play instruments, and they've been "working hard to make a name for themselves since being discovered (individually, mind you) since 2011"

Anyway, the entertainment industry is an evil meat grinder, spoon feeding the masses regurgitated shit. It's been that way for a long time, but the aggressive assault on younger and younger kids is tough to ignore. Anyway, here is the recipe for modern success in the music industry and, sorry boys, it's easier for girls to get famous.


STEP ONE- Get the kids hooked on a product at an early age, preferably a performer that is older then the target audience, start the entertainer on a kids show (preferably a Disney show)
 "Hi, I'm Miley, I'm harmless, get mom or dad to buy my cd for you ok?, HUGZ XOXO ; )~ "

STEP TWO- Transform performer into a tween idol, say an 18 year old singing puppy love songs to tweeners.
"Oh baby, baby, cotton candy kisses blah blah..."

STEP THREE- GENTLY ALIENATE THE PARENTS by making an album where songs "walk the line". They may seem like innocent love songs, but they are sprinkled with sexual innuendo and double entendre, Planting seeds so as the kids age, the songs take on a whole new meaning.
"I'm Miley, and your love came all over me and I want you behind me baby..." (or something like that).

STEP FOUR- Release an album that gives the middle finger to your squeaky clean past and let your audience (of 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 year olds) know that "hey we've all done drugs, we've all been bisexual, it's ok to sleep around, it all means nothing"
"I'm HELLA Miley Cyrus and I'm bad! Like... I don't know, BOY BAD... bitches!"

STEP FIVE- MELT DOWN, FLAME OUT, PULL A MILEY CYRUS. This involves, blatant drug/sex/crazy visual references like... holding an invisible joint, suckin' on a lollipop or any phallic object, stick your tongue out (A LOT) and whoring yourself out for the world to see. (Hey, the fans are a fickle bunch, they'll soon be outgrowing you and taking their $ elsewhere, time to go for the disenfranchised $)
"Hey y'all, I'm Miley and I'm crazy like a fox, all the way to the bank"

STEP SIX- Fuck off to the Caribbean and count your millions. No pic for this one as she's still working on step five.

ANYWAYS, if you see someone in the media and you're like "who the fuck is that?" just google their name. If twitter, facebook, a modelling agency, a blog, a tumblr, ANYTHING TO DO WITH BLOODSUCKING TERRY RICHARDSON or a Huffington Post article is in the top 3 results, you'll know you're dealing with a complete fucking nobody.

Move along people... nothing to see here.